Carnival Horizon Review: Day 14 – Maltafeatured

In the two weeks we’d been on this trip, we’d visited eight countries. At this point, nothing should have surprised me and I should have been ready for everything. And I like to think I was.

Everything except Malta.

We were already docked in the capital city of Valletta when I woke up. Since we decided against going on an excursion or guided tour, I gave myself a little extra time for sleeping. After all, we were in Malta for a full day and as our trip was winding down, so were my energy levels.

Each day we were in port without an excursion, we tried to make it to the dining room for port day breakfast, and each day, we found ourselves out of time. We had one more try in Sardinia, but for now, it was another date with the Blue Iguana Cantina for breakfast.

We took our time getting ready and enjoying our breakfast. Even though the forecast had called for sunny skies, there was a thunderstorm brewing as we woke up, and we didn’t want to get off the ship until after the storms dissipated. Instead, we busied ourselves looking out the windows and trying to get a lay of the land. There was so much in front of us and around us, we were already overwhelmed and we weren’t even off the ship yet!

There were a ton of tour options, but we forewent all of them, deciding instead to spend the day on the Hop On Hop Off bus. This was our first mistake – Malta is huge and we should have done a tour to help ensure we were hitting the highlights. We had two lines to choose from: CitySightseeing, which we’d used a number of times in other cities, and Malta Sightseeing. With three ships in port, the lines to get on the Hop On Hop Off bus were crazy long, and we decided to go with the regional Malta Sightseeing instead of the chain CitySightseeing because they were closer at the pier and because generally CitySightseeing, as a multi-national company, is more well known, which makes their buses more crowded. This was our second mistake, as the lines to get on the Malta Sightseeing buses were just as long and the upper deck of the bus was pretty filthy and covered in mud from the rain earlier (have I mentioned that the rain was, like, mud rain? It was SO crazy!). Most egregiously, though, most of the headphone jacks on the bus didn’t work and those that did were soft, hushed and came in and went out. I didn’t hear much, which meant I know next to nothing of what we saw and I think that was the most frustrating part for me. Part of what I love so much about the Hop On Hop Off busses in all of the places we travel to is that I learn *so* much from the talk tracks. Okay, and I kind of love the cheesy music, too. Let’s keep that between us, though.

So I (of course) bought a guide book to learn about all of the places we saw. Some fun facts about Malta that I didn’t know before we arrived:

• Valletta is not only one of the most southern European capitals, but also one of the smallest, with a population of just under half a million people
• Speaking of location, Malta is one of Europe’s southernmost land masses – the island lays 186 miles away from the North African coast
• The official language is Maltese. I didn’t even know that was a thing and I still couldn’t tell you a single word because everyone we encountered in Malta spoke English
• Malta is not a single island, but rather one in a series of archipelago’s known as the Maltese Islands. Malta is the largest island in the archipelago (Gozo and Comino make up the other two). Thousands and thousands of years ago, these islands were mountains on a single landmass that was attached to Italy.
• UNESCO has named Valletta one of the most concentrated historic areas in the world. There is so much culture and history centered there that the city, not just the sites within it but the entire city, was named a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Needless to say, we had a ton to see. The Hop On Hop Off bus offered a few different lines stretching out to every conceivable corner of the island. We thought we’d have time to ride them all (or at least, you know, maybe two of them) so we hopped on the first one that we could get on, but we are absolutely terrible judges of time and it turned out that we only had time to ride one full loop because the island is deceptively large and traffic is kind of insane. Thankfully, the line we hopped on hit the most of the big sites and we were able to see Marsaxlokk (a fishing village with an absolutely stunning harbor), Hagar Qim (a temple that dates back to 3600 BC) and the Blue Grotto (a series of caverns on the southern end of the island, where there is unsurprisingly vivid blue water).

Without consistent audio telling us what we were looking at, I spent most of our ride around the city just taking it all in. It took me a few days to wrap my head around Malta, to be honest. I couldn’t figure out how I felt about it because there was just so much to take in and it was all so different from any place I’d ever been before. At one point in time or another, Malta was under the rule of many different empires (including the Phoenecians, the Romans, the Greeks, the Byzantine and even at one point, Arab rule). As a result of this unique history, the island is this crazy wonderful melting pot of so many different influences and everything comes together in this patchwork of culture that was inherently unique and unlike anything I’d ever walked through. Every time I travel somewhere, my mind connects it to another place I’ve visited. When I was in Malta, though, my mind was racing trying to connect what I was seeing and experiencing to anything I’ve ever come across and I just kept coming up with blanks. I’ve never been anywhere like Malta.

Like, get this: there’s so much beige. Literally neutral shades of taupe just about everywhere you look. I’ve honestly never seen so many varying shades of brown in one place in my life. And you’d think that would be boring, right? Except on every slab of something neutral was a bright primary color. Emerald green shutters. A red awning. A blue door. There’d be stretches and stretches of fields brimming with wildflowers. And off in the distance? A sprawling urban landscape, with sky stretching buildings built so close to the next that they all blended together. I could not wrap my head around it.

By the time the bus arrived back at the terminal, we had some decisions to make: riding around on another line to see more of the sites would make hitting that back onboard time razor close with all of the traffic we were experiencing (and the ship had already left people in at least two ports). We could walk over to the nearby fort and walk the walls. We couldn’t find a coffeehouse, but we could go looking for a café to grab some lunch and see what Maltese cuisine had to offer. Or we could go back to the ship. So we strolled along the dock, where there were a bunch of cafes lined up along the water. It turns out that Maltese cuisine is heavy on the seafood and you know my mantra (if it comes from the sea, it’s not for me). So we headed back to the ship for some lunch of the non-underwater variety.

We dropped off our souvenir bags at the room and headed up to the Lido Marketplace for a lunch of sandwiches from the deli and cake from the Sweet Spot. Carnival had me completely spoiled with the amazing food they served up every day and, hello, seven layer funfetti cake?! Yes, please and thank you!

The ship was quiet in the mid-afternoon hour, which meant it was the perfect time to head up to Sports Square for a lap on the SkyRide. The SkyRide debuted on the Carnival Vista, a pedal bike suspended on a track decently high above the activities deck. The views are spectacular from up there, but if you’re afraid of heights, it probably isn’t for you. While spectacular views are totally my jam, waiting in long lines (especially on vacation) is not, and there’s often a long line to get onto the SkyRide because only two people can ride at a time. Thankfully, with everyone out in port, the line was non-existent and I was treated to some primo views of Valletta while I worked for that slice of cake I had for lunch. The course isn’t super strenuous, but there are a couple stretches where I was feeling it. Next time, SkyRide and then cake.

We headed back to the room after my victory lap on the SkyRide to outfit change. If you’ve followed me long enough, you’ve heard way too many stories about my struggles with chronic over-packing. It’s an actual problem (one that’s been well-documented here!).

So here’s the thing: I hate the idea of being stuck in the middle of the ocean without proper attire for just about any situation, so I veer on the side of caution and just pack everything. And then I wear the same things over and over again because they’re in the front of the closet and everything else is shoved in the back. No matter how much I travel and how many times we cruise, it doesn’t get better. I mean, it gets slightly better. There was a phase between 2008 and 2011 when we were driving instead of flying and since luggage wasn’t an issue, I took a small suitcase that was literally just all shoes. That phase has thankfully passed. But I still pack more outfits than any single person can have any use for on a week and a half long cruise. So towards the end of any cruise, I’m changing my outfits at least three or four times a day, just so I can justify the crazy volume of stuff I’ve brought with me. Sailaway in the second to last port? That calls for an outfit change.

And, to be fair, if any port was deserving of a fresh new look, it was Malta. Our hotel director, Mr. Pierre Camilleri (who, fun fact, was also the hotel director on our very first cruise way back in 2004), is from Malta. And with his homecoming and this being the Carnival Horizon’s maiden voyage and first time in Malta, the local government had planned a cannon slash gun salute as the ship departed for our final stop in Cagliari. We went outside to our quasi-secret hiding spot at the front of Ocean Plaza to watch the salute from the port side of the ship.

If you follow me on Facebook, I live streamed it…at least for a minute or two before I got booted off the internet (and if you’re not following me on Facebook, click that link — we should totally be friends!). It was a fitting farewell for an interesting day that I still couldn’t wrap my head around.

When Valletta was no more than a blurry haze behind us, we headed to dinner. We thought the menu offerings were alright – we’d reached the point in the cruise where there had been so much food that all I wanted was, like, a really big salad or something equally boring – but the service from our wait staff was truly fantastic.

After dinner, we walked around the ship and listened to some of the live music on Ocean Plaza. We did this more nights than not and it was one of my fave ways to wind down the evening. Carnival gets mega props for all of the live music they have onboard every night.

This was an intentionally mellow start to pregame the bigger event for the evening, which was the Electric White Party. After one more outfit change into our best whites, we headed down to the atrium lobby, where we grabbed some primo seats at the bar, ordered too many rounds of Aperol Spritz’s (which we NEVER drink at home, but somehow became our drink of choice on this trip) and watched Cruise Director Mike lead a crowd spanning all three stories of the atrium in a high energy dance party that was quite literally electric.

And if the party wasn’t fun enough, they did a big balloon drop, too! I love balloon drops. Without fail, makes any party better, am I right? Balloons were flying, everyone was dancing, I managed to go an entire night without spilling Aperol on my white dress.

It doesn’t get much better.