The Palm Trees are Really Cool: Onboard the Carnival Valor’s Southern Route (Part Two)featured

Our first day of vacation started with a 5:15 am wakeup call. American is our preferred airline for non-west coast jaunts (Virgin America owns that space in my wallet), and American only has one non-stop route from Chicago to San Juan a day – at 8:30 am. So this meant two things: one, I had to be up before the sun on my first day of vacation and two, we were screwed out of a day in San Juan if our flight was cancelled. I know, you’re thinking “But it’s May, Nicole. The chances of the weather screwing with your flight is miniscule,” but let me tell you something: it snowed in Chicago days before our flight. At the end of May. Chicago weather don’t care what month it is.

Luckily for us, the weather forecast was clear for our departure, so with a 5:15 wakeup call and a 6:00 am taxi pickup, we were off to O’Hare. And after a brief encounter with the TSA where Mom tried to smuggle a bottle of Diet Coke through security (no, Mom, it doesn’t matter if the bottle is unopened), we were sitting pretty in the terminal with nothing to do for a few hours before our flight.

What I love about O’Hare is that there’s never really nothing to do unless you’re there at 4:30 in the morning (which we’ve also done – apparently O’Hare does go dark). We grabbed some coffees at Starbucks and walked around the concourse. There’s an upscale Chocolate shop in O’Hare called Vosges Haut Chocolat. We have a few of their boutiques in Chicago and the prices are quasi ridiculous (read: one of their chocolate bars will set you back $8.00 and change), but the product is legit and all kinds of delicious. We grabbed a bar to split amongst the three of us on the flight. Why not. We’re on vacation!

Before we knew it, we were boarding. We took our time booking the flight, which worked to our detriment because prices were higher than they had been when we booked. We booked business class seats because American doesn’t offer a First Class service on their ORD/SJU route, and when we were pricing out the flight, the price of the business class seats weren’t much more than the economy seats + the preferred seating upgrades we usually do + luggage. For a 4+ hour flight, the nominal difference was worth it for us to have the bigger seats, generous leg room and meal service.

While we were boarding, Stephanie chided me that I should “sing the song.” When she did her first First Class flight, I jokingly told her she should sing Glamorous as she boarded and she ended up with the song stuck in her head on her flight. Except, okay. So I’ve had this slight obsession with the Virgin America Safety Video since my last San Fran trip because it’s ridiculously catchy (and informative!) and I watched it while we were sitting in the terminal. So while we boarded, I may or may not have been singing the Virgin America safety song. If you haven’t watched the video, click play.

After a bit of a choppy takeoff, the purser came around to take drink orders and we waved goodbye to the skyline as we cruised southeast.

Round one? Champagne. Always. It’s 8:30 in the morning? I’m pretty sure it’s noon somewhere in Europe, so this is totally fine.

Not for Mom, though. Since the TSA confiscated her contraband caffeine, she went straight for the Diet Coke.

The champagne went down the hatch at an embarrassingly rapid pace because at any given time, I’m convinced any airplane I’m on is going to fall out of the sky and the Virgin America Safety Video won’t help me much then. Stephanie is vehemently against me drugging myself into a peaceful multi-hour slumber after the Tropical Storm Barry Flight of 2007 (when I may or may not have popped three Dramamines that may or may not have worked because the plane was literally pitching from side to side, up and down, for the entire flight, causing my body to fight the drowsy agents that usually put me to sleep with way too much adrenaline, and then the combination of Adrenaline and Dramamine may or may not have caused mild hallucinations in the limo on the way home), so I paralyze my fears with champs and vodka. Not at the same time. That wouldn’t taste too good.

I think the purser realized this when the following conversation ensued:

Purser: I have bad news and I have good news, girls. Which do you want first?

Me: Gimme the bad news.

Purser: We’re out of champagne. The good news is that we have everything else. Would you like me to make you a Screwdriver?

Yes, yes I would. Clink!

We were barely a half hour into the flight at this point, so I’m not even sure how we were out of champagne, but the vodka was going to work quicker so I wasn’t going to question it. A+ to our flight purser, though. Another drink came with breakfast (a delicious soy bacon quiche lorraine), and he insisted on giving each of us a glass of water to keep us hydrated. Across the aisle, Mom vacillated between gratitude and embarrassment.

We cooled it with the boozing after breakfast. Stephanie and Mom settled in with the in-flight movie (Saving Mr. Banks) and I watched a bootleg of The Book of Mormon on my iPad. I also grabbed an all-day internet pass on my phone, but if I had known better, I would have only grabbed an hours worth. What they don’t tell you (even though I guess it makes sense when you think about it) is Gogo doesn’t work when you’re flying over water. So the first hour and a half of our flight was over land and the wifi worked like a charm, but once we cut through South Carolina and over the Atlantic, that wifi signal drops out.

After a short nap, we decided to cap the flight off with one more drink and before we knew it, we were starting our descent into San Juan.

We even spotted a cruise ship!

If you can snag a window seat, the descent into San Juan is actually quite picturesque.

SJU isn’t a large airport. It’s not small, either. But it’s not as big as Chicago or Miami. That was the first thing I noticed. The second is that there were Gasolina ads everywhere.

What is Gasolina, you might ask? I was reading a Valor review and the reviewer mentioned that she stopped at a CVS to get some Gasolina before her cruise. Gasolina? Like the Daddy Yankee song? Gasolina are these Capri Sun-like juice pouches that are spiked with a lot of booze. Vodka and rum, mostly. They come in a bunch of different flavors and when I read about them, I was determined to buy some and bring it on the cruise with me. SJU was a step ahead of me. I didn’t want to carry another bag on top of my luggage and carry ons, so I decided I’d find it on the island and we headed down to baggage claim.

Something that I couldn’t find much information on before we left was transportation in San Juan. We debated for a few weeks whether or not we should rent a car, but we ultimately decided not to because we didn’t know how much parking there would be in Old San Juan (where we’d do most of our touring). Since our hotel didn’t offer a shuttle, we were left to cab it.

San Juan has this cab situation figured out and it works very well. After you grab your luggage, you head outside and there will be a long line for taxi’s. Don’t worry, the line moves quickly.

All rates are pre-posted by zone, with every hotel in San Juan assigned a zone. Every additional fee is clearly stated. So for us to go from the airport to our hotel was a flat rate of $19, plus a $2 or $3 fuel surcharge and $1 per suitcase.

To make this even easier, when you are in line waiting for a cab, someone comes and fills out a receipt for you to give the driver. Before you even step foot in the cab, you know how much your ride will be. No hidden fees. No language barriers. No driving up the meter by taking the long way. It’s all laid out for you upfront.

Most of the cabs are large, white vans that can sit between four and seven, depending on how much luggage you have. And in case you were wondering more about the cab rates? They’re posted on the windows of most of the cabs, too.

There was a lot of mid-day traffic on the highway, so we were thankful for the non-metered rates. It was a 20 minute ride or so and we were at our hotel: the Caribe Hilton.

I’m not sure which area the Caribe Hilton is in – it’s not quite in Old San Juan, but it’s not quite in Condado, either. We booked it on Priceline with bids for a 4-star in the Old San Juan/Condado area, so Priceline apparently can’t tell, either. I think we paid $155/night plus fees. On top of that, the hotel charges an 18% resort fee upon check-in. The 18% is of the rate you pay on Priceline, not their published rates, and included wi-fi, use of the beach and pools and probably other amenities that I don’t remember because we didn’t use them.

Check in was quick and pleasant, and unlike check in’s with many other hotels we’ve booked off Priceline, where you get an “Ohh, you’ve booked through Priceline” at check in before they try to throw three people into a single-bed room (I’m looking at you, Sheraton Fort Lauderdale Beach), the person doing our check in didn’t even mention Priceline – they just asked for a credit card for incidentals and whether we wanted a king or two fulls before handing us room keys and a map of the grounds and sending us on our merry way. Four for you, Caribe Hilton.

We were given a room on the fourth floor of the main tower. It was large, clean, well-appointed and seemed to be recently (or at least semi-recently) renovated. And it had a gorgeous view of the ocean and the Condado area off our small, private balcony. We were incredibly pleased with our luck on this one.

We settled in a bit and freshened up before heading out to explore the hotel. The Caribe Hilton is touted as a hotel but it’s really more of a resort. There are many restaurants and bars on the premises, a private beach, lovely pools and gardens, and to top it all off, a full service Starbucks in the lobby! There was a lot for us to explore. We kicked it off at Starbucks.

Did I mention there were parrots in the lobby?

We headed out to the beach and we were asked to present our room keys before entering the beach and pool area, so if you’re docked in Old San Juan and looking to hit up the beach at the Caribe Hilton, one, it’s lovely but two, they will ask you for a room key before letting you enter. The beach was clean and quiet. They have a Starbucks out there, too. And cabanas you can rent for a fee, if you’d like, and hammocks and beach beds you could relax in for free.

I really wanted to head out into Old San Juan to walk around and grab dinner, but Mom and Stephanie were really digging the hotel and wanted to have a calm and quiet evening there. After such a long travel day and enjoying the parts of the hotel I had seen, I didn’t care to put up a fight. We had all of the next day to explore, and since the ship didn’t depart until late Sunday night, we had most of the day after, too.

Breakfast was served at 9:00 in the morning on the airplane and we were nearing 5:00 pm, so we were ready for some grub. Morton’s Steakhouse was on the grounds, and I’d read online that they had an insane Happy Hour with $8 martinis, $5 beers and $7 appetizers. Perfect for a late lunch/early dinner. We headed over right when they opened at 5:00 pm and while the bar area wasn’t that big, it wasn’t that small, either and it filled up rather quickly. My vodka martini was incredibly strong (to the point where I couldn’t finish it), but the hand-stuffed olives were sublime. We ordered a few appetizers to split amongst the three of us and service was incredibly slow. We figured it might have been to slow down the orders during Happy Hour hours. Standouts? Filet mignon sliders and the house chips with blue cheese dressing.

We headed back out to the beach after dinner, grabbing a few beach beds near the shore. There were a lot of people out on the beach and even though it was getting dark, we felt very safe. The beach was private and not open to guests of other hotels or locals, so it felt more secure. We must have been out there for a good two hours before we had our fill and headed back to our room.

…but not before I got some hammock time in.

Mom settled in with some Shark Tank and 20/20 and Stephanie and I went exploring some of the shops.

The Starbucks in the lobby was great for two reasons: firstly because it was open late (until 11:00 pm) and secondly because, surprisingly, there was no mark up. Usually at airport Starbucks’ or hotel Starbucks’, there’s a bit of a markup (usually, these are Starbucks counters). The Starbucks at the Caribe Hilton is a freestanding shop and the prices were actually a bit lower than my local one. We grabbed some sandwiches and iced teas before heading back to the room. We also noticed some free area maps out for grabs, so we took a few to plan out our next day.

Stephanie and I dropped a sandwich up to Mom and did a little more walking around. There’s nothing except for a Subway and a souvenir shop within the immediate walking distance from the hotel, but that was almost a good thing. Being a little more remote felt a little more peaceful. The grounds of the resort were expansive and lacked for nothing – there were many restaurants and bars, live music, shops, the Starbucks, and a Quiznos and a froyo counter were opening that weekend. We loved this hotel and can’t recommend it enough.

After a little research of what we wanted to see while we toured the city the next day, we called it a day.