Key Largo, Montego, Baby Why Don’t We Go (Or, a Week on The World’s Largest Cruise Ship): Part Sevenfeatured

After we left Central Park, we headed back to the Promenade for a little exploration. First stop? The Cupcake Cupboard.

All looking and no tasting this time, but the Cupcake Cupboard had promise. The cupcakes looked tasty, there was a decent selection and they weren’t ridiculously overpriced (you’ll pay upwards of $4-$7 for a bakery cupcake in Chicago). We decided we’d come back later with our appetites (we did have a cupcake later in the week, but it almost became a rolling joke with us. Mom would ask us if we wanted cupcakes and we’d groan about how full we were).

The Royal Promenade was quickly overcrowding (to be expected since it’s the first area everyone will see as they board and it’s expected that many will linger with their mouths agape at all the colors and movement and options), so we made our way to the next area of the ship: the Boardwalk.

And, go figure, the Boardwalk was near empty. Neglected and overlooked in favor of the splashier Royal Promenade, the prestige of Central Park and the predictability of The Windjammer Marketplace. We took advantage of everyone else’s oversight and explored the Boardwalk in quiet peace.

Around 1:00 pm, we decided to head to our room to see if it was ready. We were on deck 7 midship, room 7276. The location was fantastic: the Boardwalk was right below us. Central Park was a deck above us. And the elevators and stairs were steps away. The only downside? Being above the Boardwalk meant the Boardwalk marquee made it impossible to cross from port to starboard. If we accidentally took the elevators on the wrong side, we had to take the stairs up or down to go around.

And when we got to our room…we noticed our luggage was there. ALL of our luggage was there. At 1:00 pm. On all our cruises, we’ve never seen ALL our luggage accounted for that early. Tip your porters well, and they will take care of you and yours.

Our home for the week was a balcony cabin (I don’t remember the exact classification. D4, maybe? Is that a class? Did I just make that up?). It was much smaller than any other outside room we’ve ever had on Carnival and it took some getting used to for us, but the space was enough for the three of us over the course of the week. The beds were together and apparently couldn’t be separated, so Stephanie and I were going to be getting cozy. Mom took the pull out couch (by choice) and…we made it work. Carnival has larger rooms and more closet space and we noticed it and felt it on our first day, but at no point during the week did we feel cramped or on top of each other.

The balcony was also smaller than the ones we’ve had on Carnival, but I think the balconies on Royal Caribbean are better designed. On Carnival, you can look down, but not out, because the balcony is constructed from concrete paneling. On Royal Caribbean, it’s glass paneling, so you can not only see down, but you can see out, as well, from not only the balcony, but from inside your room looking out. On Carnival, there’s generally two chairs and a small side table. On Royal Caribbean, there’s two (they had three put out for us without us asking) chairs, but also a table that’s high and large enough to dine on, perfect for a room service sunrise breakfast.

Unfortunately, as we were exploring our new home, we found two not-so-fun things: a pronounced stain on the white comforter and toenail clippings in the gutter of the balcony (come on, guys. Your home becomes someone else’s home in a week. Keep it to the bathroom and clean that stuff up yourselves). I’ll spare you all the pictures of those. Mom called housekeeping and asked for a new comforter when our beds were turned down that evening.

And for your viewing pleasure…a video tour of our cabin!

We decided to head up to the Windjammer just to explore for a bit and it was…different than we expected.

For one, they spray your hands with sanitizer as you enter. Royal Caribbean is not taking chances when it comes to Norovirus. Entering the Windjammer? Reembarking the ship after an excursion? There is literally someone standing there with an industrial sized pump of anti-bacterial waiting to spray it into your hands. After we passed through Royal’s sanitization ritual, we were seated, as if we were at a sit-down restaurant. We went with it just for the sake of figuring out what this Windjammer experience was supposed to be like. So we were seated at a table, a server would bring us our drinks and check on us periodically and…it was a weird hybrid between a traditional table dining experience and a buffet.

Even at mid-day, the Windjammer was packed and it was no head-scratcher why: there are heavy, heavy design flaws that make the process of self-serving ones meal completely inefficient. There are many stations, but they aren’t all different stations (some have the same offerings on opposite sides of the marketplace area), and that isn’t overwhelmingly obvious. The larger problem, though, is that as these are circular in design, there’s no real entry point, flow and end point. Everyone starts somewhere, goes one way and ends at another point while the person next to them is going in the opposite direction. The Windjammer was full of people trying to figure out which way they were going and what they wanted.

I’d heard so much about the Honey Stung Chicken in all my pre-cruise research and contemplated a taste but when I found it…it didn’t look too appetizing. I passed. We had a round of iced teas and then left to explore more.

First stop? The pool deck.

Next? The Solarium. An 18+ haven of serenity.

We made our way towards the Royal Promenade (again) and found the Amber Theater on our way. A really lovely (and large) theater.

And then we made our way towards the soda package table so Mom and Stephanie could arrange for their unlimited Diet Coke’s for the week. Mom’s was complimentary as part of the package we booked through our TA. Stephanie paid for hers. Both of them consume a ridiculous amount of Diet Coke on a daily basis (a gene that somehow skipped me – I hate soda) and the Freestyle machines Royal Caribbean uses on the Allure seem to be everywhere so Stephanie got her money’s worth during the week.

We headed back to the room to unpack for a bit and came across these interactive screens. I thought they were pretty cool. They’re near every elevator bank. They tell you what restaurants are open and how full they are, what activities are going on and they can even help tell you where you are and where you’re going when you’re lost.

When we got back to our room, our room stewardess, Wendy, came to introduce herself while we were unpacking. Wendy was super nice and always cracking a joke. She was incredibly visible during our stay and always willing to get us anything we needed. Stephanie and Mom got most of their unpacking done. I opted to sit on the balcony. If we’re traveling in a balcony cabin, I’ll choose to sit on the balcony instead of doing pretty much anything. Even if we’re docked, just being outside and on the water…it’s a peace unlike anything else.

We decided to get an early start for muster drill and headed down to the Aquatheater (our designated muster station) and it seemed half the ship had the same idea – the theater was half full already!

They scanned our seapasses as we entered (they literally take attendance here) and we sat and watched a video. In numerous languages. Which wouldn’t have been so bad if we weren’t outside in the direct sunlight and it weren’t so hot out. We fanned ourselves off with our Compasses as we listened to the same announcement in no less than four different languages before we were dismissed.

Once we were released, we made our way towards the not-so-secret deck (everyone calls it a secret deck, but there were at least 30 people out there by the time we got there, so I guess it’s not much of a secret anymore) for sailaway.

We had early (and quickly approaching) dinner reservations, so we ultimately decided to head back to the room to enjoy the sail out on our balcony (if you pay attention to what you’re passing, you’ll notice a house with its very own Flowrider!) and get ready for dinner.

We hadn’t fully cleared land yet but we had to leave our little balcony fiesta for a fiesta of the more traditional kind – Rita’s Fiesta at Rita’s Cantina.

We’d heard mixed reviews of Rita’s Cantina before we left. We figured the fiesta was a fun way to kick off our cruise and even if the food was as subpar as the reviews seemed to make it out to be, the $20 cover charge was more than made up for in the three margaritas that are included in the meal ($10 if you want virgin margs. I did the $20 package and Mom and Stephanie did the $10 one, with Stephanie and I swapping drinks).

We checked in and were “lei’d” with a blinking pendant necklace (but not sombreros – others got those. They probably forgot ours, but we had no use for them so we didn’t really care) and given bracelets with tear off numbers (one would be torn off with every drink we redeemed).

Chips and salsa were already waiting for us on the table and a server quickly made his way over to take our drink orders (a choice of strawberry, mango or on the rocks…but they didn’t have mango so it technically wasn’t an option, which begs the rhetorical question “Well, then, why did you offer it as an option if you already knew it wasn’t available?”). Strawberry margaritas all around, please!

We asked them not to bring us any shrimp or seafood, and they didn’t offer us any replacements (we weren’t given or offered a replacement for the fried shrimp/fried zucchini appetizer), but they brought us the quesadillas sans shrimp, which were pretty good.

The main course was fajitas with a side of beans and…they weren’t very good. We picked at them but they generally went untouched.

And for dessert? Flan, churros and banana crepes.

In-between every course, there was music and dancing. You can re-live some of that with us on YouTube.

Rita’s Fiesta is only as fun as the people around you are willing to have and booking this activity should be done for the drinks (which are strong) and the experience, not for the food. You’ll find much better Americanized Mexican fare at places like On the Border. That said, it was fun for a first night celebration and we we don’t have any real regrets in booking it.

We took our time strolling the Boardwalk after dinner, taking in the breeze off the aft and the soft sounds of the merry-go-round, before heading back to the room.

Our room was already turned down by the time we got back from dinner thanks to the card system Royal Caribbean uses. When you leave in the morning for breakfast or in the evening for dinner, you put a card in the key slot in the door that signifies to the room steward that you’d like your room turned down. It’s an incredibly efficient way of getting the rooms done with everyone on different dining schedules.

We sat on the balcony for a bit (and even saw a dolphin that was too quick for my camera!) and unpacked a little more before heading out.

We headed to the Royal Promenade so Mom and Stephanie could get some diet Cokes (those were the closest Freestyle machines to our cabin) and I noticed just how incredibly smooth the ride was on this ship. From inside the Royal Promenade, where there are no views outside of the water, you couldn’t even tell we were at sea, let alone that we were moving.

We had 9:00 pm reservations for Oceanaria, so we headed out to the Aquatheater around 8:30 pm and the theater was already packed. The best seats were reserved for cruisers with gold cards, but we found some decent ones. If you don’t have a gold card and you want a good seat, you need to go more than a half hour early. That was a trend throughout the week: everything filled up fast.

We booked Oceanaria for our first show for a couple reasons. The first reason being that since the Aquatheater is outdoors, there’s always the possibility it will rain and the show will be rained out. By booking on the first night, we accounted for that possibility by allowing ourselves time to rebook our reservation for another night if it rained. The second reason being that this show was such a unique experience and it felt only right to begin this new experience of ours on a new cruise line and a new ship with a show that was unlike anything we’ve ever seen at sea before. And it was – Oceanaria was captivating and mind-boggling. The high dives, the acrobatics, the movement…it was just fascinating. An experience and show unlike anything else at sea.

After Oceanaria let out, we headed to the Royal Promenade for a snack at Café Promenade. Café Promenade is open 24 hours and has a variety of sandwiches and snacks (for free) and specialty coffee drinks (for a fee).

Stephanie and Mom had the mini sandwiches (I never tried them over the course of the week because they were all pre-made and all seemed to have mayo on them, while I firmly maintain a mayo-free life) and I had a chocolate chip scone with a cup of coffee.

Re-energized from our late-night snack, we perused the shops along the way.

We also began a nightly tradition of walking along the outdoor decks and looking out at the lights over Central Park and the Boardwalk.

We wanted to go watch The Croods in 3D down in the Amber Theater, but we were all too tired. So we headed back to the room and watched the tail end of Inglorious Bastards (which Stephanie and I quoted all week. “Burn this bitch down.” “Oui, Shoshanna.”) and Blades of Glory before going to sleep.