To Hell and Back: Escape from Snowmageddon (Or, The World’s Longest Valor Review, part 6)featured
Hi friends!
So we’re back from our trip on the Dream! Actually, we’ve been back for three weeks. And I’ve been sick the entire time we’ve been back, grandma’s been super sick (those respiratory bugs that go around cruise ships? Yeah, those are no joke. Wash, wash, wash your hands!) and I’m still swamped at work. Oh, and Stephanie’s in such a post-cruise funk that the entire time we’ve back, she’s been looking at cruises we can take in the next six months. But the show must go on and I’m kind of dying to get started writing that Dream review, but before I can do that, I have to wrap this one up. And I will. Somehow. This week. It’s my goal. I’m awful with fulfilling my goals, but I have to get better at some point, right? In all likelihood, I’m going to end up abbreviating the ship parts to mostly pictures and less text because my information and thoughts are outdated by now, but I’ll try to do something of a more traditional review on the ports and excursions because those won’t be changing much (because, you know, we took the same excursion in Grand Cayman that we took in 2005 and it hadn’t changed at all).
Also, if you have any home remedies for a cough that just won’t go away, I’m all ears! I’ve done tea, I’ve done honey, I’ve eaten copious amounts of hot and sour soup and I just got off a Z-pack. I’d like to not be coughing the ear off my cubemate for another three weeks.
So we’re finally at the ship part. Yay!
We woke up around 7:00 in Plantation. After a quick breakfast in the room, we left the hotel around 8:30 and made our way to the Port of Miami.
The drive to the Port of Miami took no longer than an hour and in all honesty, the extra drive added no hassle to our trip. It was rather straightforward and though I haven’t stayed in Miami since 2004, the memories I have of the city aren’t overly impressive. I felt Plantation is just nicer, quieter and offers more that we’d need in a pre-trip while allowing us to visit Miami (if we wanted) with a quick drive. And it’s less expensive. I’ll cut whatever corners I can when it allows us to travel more often.
We were at the port before 9:30, which is rather early and as such, there was just a lot of confusion on where to go, where to put our luggage, etc because people were still disembarking the ship. Nevertheless, we figured it out and were headed inside around 10:00, when we were ushered into the VIP lounge. That’s right- V-I-P because this was our first Platinum cruise! So exciting! And the VIP lounge at the Port of Miami is quite lovely (not that we have much experience with them, as it’s currently limited to the Port of Miami and Port Canaveral). The lounge was quiet, well-airconditioned and they offered lemonade while we waited to embark. They also had some TV’s, but those weren’t in use.
Around 11:30, they let us board. They led us to the elevator where special assistance was lined up and brought us to the front of the line because we were platinum and special assistance. And not going to lie- we got some not-so-friendly stares when the VIP representative led us right upfront and put us onboard. And I’m not going to lie- given the limited perks given to Platinum cruisers (compared to some other lines), I didn’t really care. Stare all you want. Reflects more upon you than it does upon me. Cruise on Carnival ten times and you can be at the front of the line that leads EVERYONE onto the same ship, too. People, man. You’re all going to get on board. Relax. Enjoy it.
And just like that…we were onboard. I wish there was a way to bottle up or accurately describe that first moment when you step off that embarkation ramp onto the boat and enter the atrium. Excitement. Wonder. Elation. I always look up at the lights and colors of the atriums and just soak it in for the smallest of seconds (I’m sure I’d be trampled by the throngs of cruisers waiting to get on and get an elevator to the Lido deck if I waited any longer than that). And then we grabbed an elevator and headed up to the Lido deck to grab some lunch at Rosie’s.
Rosie’s has lighter colors so the space looks much more open. The available options were the same as they had been on the Freedom the year before, except I think this was the first time we’d had the burrito bar, and that’s exactly what we headed towards for lunch. And they offered *many* options to customize your burrito and they were really quite good. It wasn’t a Chipotle or a Qdoba burrito, but it was pretty good for options that were made en masse to feed a few thousand people. And really, something I really do appreciate about Carnival is the made-to-order options in the quick service restaurants on Lido deck. All ships have the 24-hour pizzeria (which WILL make you any pie you want, upon request) and the deli (which freshly slices their meats and makes all their sandwiches to order, and will even make you a sandwich not on their menu so long as they have the ingredients), but the newer ships will also have the stir fry station (which is like a smaller, more limiting version of the stir fry bars at Stir Crazy or Big Bowl, offering around a dozen different veggies, a noodle, three sauces and three rotating meats, one beef or pork, one chicken and one seafood a day) and burrito bar (and in my next review on the Dream- the pasta bar). I know Princess didn’t have these options when I sailed them and to my knowledge, none of the mainstream cruise lines offer so many made-to-order options (or any at all, in some cases).
We weren’t allowed in the rooms until 1:30 pm, so we went to explore the ship. I thought the ship was very pretty and I loved the theming because so much of it is retro Americana and I love all things retro. Stephanie isn’t quite as fond of it, but Stephanie is a much harsher critic on theming and design than I am. We grabbed a Fun Times and started plotting out our day.
While we were in the lobby, I noticed two new things near the shore excursion desk- the first being a TV that informed everyone on how full the excursions were (green = still plenty of spots, yellow = a few spots left, red = either almost full or full) and the second was a special for a shore excursion package. Please remember that this was from February, so I have no idea if it’s still being offered, or if it’s exclusive to the Valor (because I didn’t see it on the Dream), but I thought it was an interesting concept for people looking to book multiple excursions and I’d be interested in seeing it rolled out to other ships.
We went to the rooms around 1:30. Stephanie and I were in a category 4H, room 1012. The room was small and I worried about how much I’d want to sleep with the lack of natural light and rocking (this blog has already well-established how if the boat is a-rocking, I’m probably comatose).
Grandma and Mom’s room was huge. I don’t remember what room they were in (1014, maybe, but I’m not looking at a deckplan and I don’t have their email confirmation handy to consult), but I’ll give my normal disclaimer here: grandma is completely wheelchair bound at this point (she’s been wheelchair bound since 2008 and really can’t take more than a step or two, guided, anymore) and absolutely needs that space so we can get her wheelchair around the room and the bathroom. Normal, able-bodied people do not need all that space and while it might be nice, please leave it for those who need it. There’s only a handful of these rooms on each ship and many cruisers who need these rooms because normal rooms can’t fit their wheelchairs or scooters (or the bathrooms aren’t modified to fit their needs). If I remember correctly, this was another trip where an able-bodied party was kicked out of their cabin so Mom and grandma could have it because they didn’t provide the documentation necessary to book and hold one of these rooms without getting bumped (because if you book a handicap accessible room, you should be contacted by the special needs department- we always are- and asked to fill out paperwork about the kind of assistance or modifications you need that would require you a room like this, the size of your wheelchair/scooter, etc).
We dropped our stuff off and went walking around Serenity to take pictures. Chair hogging had begun already. Really, guys? The ship hasn’t even sailed yet! Alas, I will continue to complain about it here on my blog and write about it on my comment cards until something is done. I won’t hold my breath in the meantime.
We went back to our cabin and all our luggage was delivered before muster, and our steward, Three, brought it into our room for us. He was very nice and upbeat and in case I ever forget to mention it again, Stephanie and I had determined that he was definitely Dream Team material (we keep a running mental list of the best of the best Carnival employees we encounter across our cruises. Amongst them are our servers from the Pride in 2006- Lawrence and Liliya- and Malcolm Burns- the longtime cruise director on the Miracle…amongst others).
Muster was semi-chaotic. We were told to go into the library…and that was kind of it. No one was there to lead or guide us. I found an outlet, sat myself down on the floor, charged my cell phone and soaked up the remaining moments of my cellular freedom. If you don’t want my attention or seek it, I’m not going to seek it out. Besides, this was, like, my eleventh cruise. I get the gist of the emergency procedure. Signal sounds –> grab life jacket –> go to muster station –> follow directions of people in neon hats –> pray like hell.
After muster, I went to save us a round bed at Serenity and it quickly filled up…so much so that someone came and stood directly in front of our bed. I don’t understand why people see you lounging there and then go stand directly in front of you. I grabbed a bed so Stephanie and I could lounge as we stared off into the ocean we were sailing into, not so I could stare at your uncomfortably low-slung swim shorts. The offending space stealer didn’t stay long (maybe he had someone to meet up with…or maybe he caught wind of my passive aggressive comments…who really knows) and Mom and grandma came out to enjoy the view with Stephanie and I.
Once we were in the ocean, we went back to the room to unpack a little and get ready for dinner. We were ready a little early, so we went to the casino to get lanyards for our cards and hit up the Purser’s desk to get some extra keys made before dinner.
When we first got to the dining room, we noticed a familiar face- Dewey was here (and had been since September!). Dewey was the dining hostess in the Bacchus dining room on two of our Miracle trips, but we hadn’t seen her in about a year and a half. She recognized us immediately and hugged us, which really speaks to the special person she is. It was so, so nice to see her!
We went for the earliest seating dinner and were seated immediately. It didn’t even get semi full until our dinner was over. Dinner was pretty good. The fruit had no real distinct alcohol flavor (Stephanie says next time she’ll just order a fruit cocktail because it has more variety). Tonight’s server forgot Mom’s shrimp cocktail and messed up Stephanie’s veggies. The flat iron was really tender and flavorful. The Crème Brulee was excellent, but the cheese in the cheese plate was very strong. I wasn’t offered coffee.
The Lincoln Dining Room
Bread basket
Tropical Fruits (marinated with lime juice and a touch of tequila)
Heart of Iceberg Lettuce
Grilled Flat Iron Steak from USDA Choice Beef
Assorted Steamed Vegetables
Vanilla Creme Brulee (baked vanilla cream, garnished with assorted berries)
Assorted Cheeses (Port Salut, Brie, Gouda, Imported Swiss, Danish Bleu
Lime Sherbet
After dinner, we took grandma to Rosie’s for dinner and then we all headed to the alcohol tasting (crowds of people grabbing a sample and then just getting in line again and repeating the process, which was just a waste of time because you’re essentially tasting thimble-sized cups of liquor) and then went down to the Ivanhoe for trivia, which we lost, and then game show mania, which was fun (Robin is a fantastic host). Bingo was drawn out and boring while we waited for the show.
The Welcome Aboard show? In desperate need of a revamp…time for a new routine. It’s old and predictable at this point. We met our CD, Goose, who seems okay but nothing really distinctive about him. We left before the comedian out of boredom. Also because we don’t typically care for the comedians.
Mom and grandma headed to bed and Stephanie and I went to watch Ocean on the big screen, which was just depressing. Gimme a good romcom, Carnival!
We headed to the late night grill for a snack and Rosie’s was just overrun with obnoxious teenagers screaming across the room, making prank calls on the public phones and just making a mess everywhere. Seriously? Like…it hasn’t been that long since I was a teenager and I don’t remember making a public nuisance of myself on family vacations. Probably because Mom and grandma always knew where I was and what I was doing when we were on vacation and if I made an ass out of myself or our family, they’d be vacationing and I’d be sitting at home (or at the very least, be tethered to one of them for the rest of the trip). When I see 13-year-olds defacing a ship and running around shouting at the tops of their lungs, I have to wonder where their parents are and if they even care given that these same kids were the same ones all week pressing all the buttons in the elevator before getting off, kicking over chairs in the lido restaurant for fun and making a mess of whatever they could find to mess up. Aren’t family vacations a time for family time? Regardless, they were disruptive, grill food hit the spot and we were getting tired because it was late and the ship was rocking like whoa.
We finished unpacking when we got back to the room, but quickly realized that, like always, we overpacked and there wasn’t enough room for all of our stuff (we’d end up unloading some of it in Mom and grandma’s room). We watched Nancy Grace (a guilty pleasure) and went to bed around 1:15am.
Today’s Lido lunch menus
Today’s Lido dinner menu
The late-night grill menu
(Well that only took three hours to format and write. Maybe I should give myself a week and a half to finish this LOL)
